Saturday, October 5, 2013

I Heart Alcohol


I’m a bit of a cynic. I genuinely dislike most of the general population. I feel like it stems from the idea that we can never truly know a person in a broad social setting. Most of our interactions are faked on the basis of social politeness. It can take a lifetime to truly understand the inner workings of another human being, and even then, there are things everyone is afraid to say out loud. But I like to take the easy route, get um’ drunk.

I’ve always preferred to converse with my fellow man wasted, not because they are more intelligent, or gracious, or even nice; but because with a few beers, one can absorb a person’s entire life philosophy in one night. You will never learn more truths about the person sitting in front of you than when they are drunk.

Every drink peels back a carefully crafted layer of a person’s social identity, until self-censorship is no longer an option. Loves and fears and hates will bubble over; it is some of the most beautiful, eye-opening, messy, honest conversation you will ever have.

Without the aid of alcohol, many of the outside opinions I’ve let influence my life would have never seen the light of day. When heavily drinking with someone, there is some sort of mutual agreement that things might get deep and ugly. Every sip is a step closer to knowing the dark secrets people hide. There are monsters that dance behind every individual’s eyes, begging for their masters to let them escape through their host’s lips. All it takes is one more glass of wine and the right topic of conversation.

Alcohol shows the best and worst of humanity and it upsets me that people no longer worship it like in the old days. Empires had gods dedicated to the drink. So my fellow human, next time you are out, for me, raise your glass to the beauty of alcohol! My brothers, my sisters; let us learn the way the world really thinks and celebrate being loud, crude, and blunt about it!

To Alcohol! Human kind’s kryptonite! The savior and destroyer of personal ideologies! The shortcut to truly knowing each other.

 
“I drink to make other people more interesting.”

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